The Shelter of Life

The Shelter of Life

Sometimes, life just doesn't seem fair. Good people have bad things happen to them and innocent creatures get hurt. Sometimes disappointment is not only a journey, but a recurring destination.

The small pup had a matted coat and some dried blood on his cheek when he was brought to the shelter.

He and his litter mates were born seven weeks before and the last three weeks of his life were pure hell. His mom was a stray that somehow managed to get food and a place where she could deliver her puppies. The first four weeks of the pup's life had been a struggle for food, for comfort and for safety.

Despite feeling safe being with his mom and his litter mates the small pup couldn't understand much of the world that he was born into. Everything was a mystery. All the puppies had fleas, and the scratching to relieve the itching was constant.

The little pup was just starting to get the hang of walking and trying to grow up, but the only good news is he was surviving. One day, three weeks ago, his mother had not returned to the litter and life was suddenly worse. Within hours of her departure all the pups began to cry. The pup wasn't sure what happened, all he knew was he was hungry.

One by one the other pups wandered off and didn't return to the dirty rags in the alley where they had been born, leaving the small pup on his own. He didn't know what to do. It was so confusing.

From that day on, all day and night there were loud noises that scared him. One night a cat came over to the rags where he slept and pushed him out. Literally. She scared him away with a loud howl, but he didn't go far. He toddled over to a mostly crushed box by a dumpster, hungry, confused and now without a safe shelter.

The next couple of days after that were not pleasant. He was able to find a little food, a crust of bread that he tried to gobble down to allay his starvation, but which he ate so ravenously he threw up most of it.

Near his box in the alley was the door to a restaurant and a dumpster where restaurant employees discarded garbage. Sometimes there was food in what they threw away and sometimes they weren't careful in placing it in the dumpster, resulting in a little for him to eat. Water was easier to come by. One of the restaurant workers had noticed him hanging around near the alley door and kindly placed a bowl of water beside the dumpster in which he dumped garbage every day. Water was good, and essential, but it didn’t fill the little guy's stomach and he lived with constant hunger.

The cat that claimed his previous sleeping spot prowled around the area, and when the little dog tried to nuzzle up to it for warmth and companionship one cold night, the cat clawed him, opening a tiny cut on his cheek. The cut hurt and he instinctively tried to clean the wound with his tongue and paw, a move that helped some, but the cut soon became infected. And still the hunger, always the hunger.

At seven weeks old, something happened to change the little pup's life. One of the restaurant workers spotted him, picked him up off the ground and took him to an animal shelter. The shelter's resident vet looked at the emaciated, flea-bitten little pup and shook her head. This was not fair. This little guy might not make it. He was weak, starved and looked sickly. That was the nature of a lot of the strays that were brought to the shelter but, as always, the vet worked to save this new little one's life.

It was touch and go for a couple of weeks. She fed him goat milk from a bottle. He was unable to eat much - he just couldn't keep down much of the nutritious liquid. The vet treated him for worms and fleas, cleaned up and disinfected the wound on his cheek, and miraculously, after another few weeks of food and care he was strong enough that the shelter volunteers were able to give him a bath and start him on solid food.

Two volunteers took an interest in this little one's life. They would pick him up and hold him, smoothing down his hair and talking softly to him. One of the volunteers would take him out into the play area and try to get him to play with some toys and especially chew toys. He wasn't interested. He didn't trust anyone.

After three weeks of regular food and care he slowly began to show some interest in a couple toys. He didn't really know what to do with them, but Sandy, one of the volunteers, would hold him and stroke his fur, talking softly to him. Sandy also brought him a couple of puppy treats and they tasted good, much better than the kibble that was his main source of nutrition.

Sandy was doing as much she could. Her life had been a train wreck. She had lived in foster homes from the age of six. She had no knowledge of either of her real parents. The foster agency simply told her that they had been unable to locate them, so she remained in the system. The longest stay with any of her foster families was three years, from age 6 to 9. That was her family when she started school, and she was getting along pretty well until the dad lost his job and the family moved, returning her to the foster agency.

Through a string of eight foster families she grew and got passing grades in school, trying very hard to fit in and be wanted by each family.

In the end, it was always disappointing, and Sandy spent many nights crying, wondering why she didn't have a real mom and dad like all the other kids at school.

Kids weren't that kind to her because her clothes fit poorly and were old, and she didn't get picked up or dropped off at school like other kids. Her foster families didn't let her participate in after-school activities, so there weren't many opportunities to make friends. There was one girl that was nice to her for several years, but she always felt out of place, like she didn't belong, like she was an outsider.

At age 18 she aged out of the foster system, finishing with a high school diploma and little else. Her foster care counselor got her set up to go to the community college and work a part time job. It wasn't easy. She didn't feel ready to go out in the world. She was lonely and sad. She was still learning how to live as an adult and, without any close friends she felt like she was on a trapeze with no net below her. One slip and she would fall and catastrophe would happen.

But she found one love. The new little pup at the shelter.

After he had been at the shelter for four more weeks, the little pup was given his puppy vaccinations and his photo was put up on the "available for adoption" bulletin board. Sandy continued to spend time with him, teaching him to play, and speaking softly while holding him. He began to trust her, and to look for her. When she held him he would look up at her with soft eyes and he would occasionally nuzzle her.

Most of the shelter animals were starved for attention and whenever any human came around they would eye them warily but then, if the people stayed within view for more than a minute, the animals would get up and walk over to the fence to look at them. Sandy could relate - she was able to give something to these animals that they desperately needed and she never had - love and attention.

The little pup became her focus and soon she was spending more time with him than with the other animals.

Two weeks before the little puppy's photo went up on the "board" as available for adoption Sandy began to feel something inside. It was more than hunger, or cold. It was an attraction to that cute little white puppy, one that she couldn't shake.

She had already told Freddy about the pup and its brief story when it was first brought to the shelter. Freddy was her boyfriend, at least they saw each other in two classes and got coffee together twice a week, ostensibly to study together, but it was more than that. It was clear that Sandy and Freddy were developing an interest in each other.

Freddy took to the little pup almost immediately. Sandy showed him a couple of tricks she had taught the pup and that made the little dog seem even more cute and loveable.

Freddy's own life was complicated. He had a part-time job at a software company and was making pretty good money while going to school, but his home life was a mess. His dad and mom argued all the time, seemingly about everything. Sometimes late at night he would hear them yelling at each other and he would put the pillow over his head so their voices weren't so loud. It never worked. He went to the community college because his mom said if he wasn't going to school he would have to move out, a thought that scared him. He wasn't prepared to take on the world on his own.

One of his few friends told him that his dad was looking for a part-time employee for his software company and while Freddy was pretty unsure of himself he said he would like to find out more.

The day came to go to his friend's dad's company and he got cleaned up, combed his hair, put on his best clothes and walked to the building about a quarter mile from his home. His mother yelled at him as he was getting ready to leave, but since she yelled at him all the time he had learned to simply nod and not let it bother him.

The "interview" was short. His friend's dad seemed very kind, offering him a soft drink and sitting on a couch to talk. The job was as an apprentice in the testing department. He would follow the directions of the lead tester to "exercise" the software, following all the instructions and trying to accomplish certain tasks with it. The goal was to see if he could make the software fail and then to write down exactly what happened. In return, he could work 2-3 hours a day and he could work at home. The company would give him a computer to use and all he needed was to have an Internet connection at home.

He was introduced to the lead person in the testing department and to some of the other employees in the small firm. After a little more than an hour the friend's dad said that he seemed like he might fit and asked him if he was interested. That was easy. If he took the job he could make money working his own hours at home after classes at the community college and get a new computer to use. Why not?

Job secured, two days a week Freddy dropped by the animal shelter because Sandy helped out there and he liked her. They had talked several times after class and they got along well, right from the start. He hadn’t had many girlfriends, exactly two to be truthful, and she had no experience with boyfriends, but she was honest and had a nice smile and she shared a few things about her life.

The shelter was a good place where Freddy could play with lots of animals, never having had a pet of his own. And Sandy, well, it was clear that she loved every one of the fur babies at the shelter, especially the quiet, shy ones like the puppy she called Ruffy.

When Sandy had first told him about Ruffy he wondered if the little guy would make it. She said that he had been sick and malnourished when he was brought to the shelter, but with the care and gentle feeding of the shelter workers the little pup had slowly healed and gained a little weight. The tiny dog was still afraid of people, but Sandy had a way with animals, and she soon got the puppy to play a bit. The pup was starting to recognize Freddy, too, on the days he would visit the shelter. Freddy and Sandy finally got Ruffy to wrestle a little bit and little by little he got stronger and grew. They would take a chew stick and put it near his mouth. It smelled good. He wasn't sure what it was for, but he would cautiously put his teeth on it and then they would pull on it to encourage him to bite harder. After a few weeks the pup would growl at the chew stick, toss it in the air, and then chase after it while Sandy and Freddy laughed.

A few weeks after that, the puppy was healthy enough to be posted on the bulletin board, meaning his photo and a few details about him joined the details of over a dozen other dogs under a large heading that said, "Available for adoption."

The day she saw Ruffy's picture appear on the board, Sandy was instantly saddened. The little guy had been her project. She had worked hard to give him affection and to help him get healthy and strong. Now that he was, it looked like he would soon be going to a permanent home and she would never see him again. The thought depressed her and made her think of her own life. She was never adopted. No one ever came for her. She didn't get a permanent home. And now she was going to lose the one living thing that she cared for more than anything else.

She asked the manager of the shelter what was required to adopt an animal. The manager told her that an adoptive family had to be stable, have a home and a heart, and be able to love and take care of the animal. Sandy could meet part of the criteria, but she didn't have a family, and stability seemed pretty remote - she was still trying to get an education that could support her. She resigned herself to just play with the pup while hoping that he got a really good home.

Several days after Sandy's conversation with her manager, an older couple came to the shelter looking at dogs. They had owned a series of dogs during their 40 years of marriage, but each dog had aged out, leaving behind sad hearts and fond memories. They just needed one more puppy, one that would last them and help them feel the softness and tenderness that they knew would warm their hearts.

Each time an outside visitor came to the shelter, all the dogs would come to attention. Ears perked up, tails started to wag, and the animals crowded to the front of their cages with hopeful looks, as if to say, "Oh, please, please, please pick me" as adoptive parents walked by looking at each one in turn.

All except for the little pup. He just stayed at the back of his cage and gnawed on his chew bone. He was safe, warm and well fed in his cage. There were other dogs to bark at and befriend. And, besides, Sandy and Freddy played with him and held him as he cuddled with them. It was an okay dog's life and, after his rough early life he was simply content, unable to imagine anything different or better.

The older couple visited each cage. At some, they took just a quick glance at the resident animal before walking to the next cage. At a few, they looked and then glanced at each other as if silently questioning, "Do you think this one might work for us?"

At the cage of a small terrier, they stopped, looked and then called to Sandy to ask if they might hold the animal. She opened the cage and called to the terrier to come to her, picking it up and handing it to the lady.

"She's cute, isn't she?' the lady said to her husband before handing the little dog to him.

"Oh yeah, she is cute, let's put her on our list,' he answered quickly as the dog squirmed in his arms. After a few moments, he handed the dog back to Sandy and the couple moved on.

After six long rows of cages, picking up two more dogs, the couple stood in front of Ruffy's cage. He never even looked up. He had seen lots of people walk through and hold other dogs but each time they left and didn't come back. He didn't know what that was all about; all he knew was that people came and went.

The older lady looked at Ruffy and tried to get his attention. She whistled softly and he looked up with sad eyes because this lady wasn't Sandy. It was just another interruption that didn't amount to anything.

Lindsey Taggert looked at her husband and said, "Oh, Hank. Look at the sad look on that pup's face. Let's just hold him for a minute and give him a little love." It was a moment's thought, but without any purpose other than just to share a little affection with a sad, little puppy.

Hank called Sandy over to the cage and she slowly brought out Ruffy, holding him up to Lindsey's outstretched arms, which folded around him like a soft blanket.

Ruffy was surprised. She was warm and gentle as she held him. He looked up at her face and saw soft eyes that looked down at him. He had no idea what was happening, or if this moment would last very long, but he squirmed to cuddle deeper in her arms and then laid out flat against her.

"Oh Hank, he's touching my heart," she said. "Let's put this one on our list, too."

After a few minutes, she handed the puppy to her husband who held him in his big arms as though the little dog was a fragile object. Ruffy was warm in the man's arms as he looked up at Hank's face unsure of what this all meant, showing a look of sadness and questioning.

For the past few months in the shelter, Ruffy had only Sandy and Freddy and one other shelter helper that held him and played with him. All the visitors that came through simply glanced at him and walked past his cage. Now, these two people were holding him as if he was their very own baby. He couldn't understand what this meant, but it was nice and he felt comfortable.

Sandy’s heart sank as she watched the couple hold and interact with "her" Ruffy but, she reminded herself that she knew that someday, someone would come and adopt him, even though she couldn't.

Lindsey noticed a sad look pass over Sandy's face and touched her arm, "What's wrong, honey?' she asked.

Sandy knew she shouldn't tell about her love for Ruffy, so she fudged and said she wasn't feeling well.

The older woman was struck by the forlorn look on the girl's face and she pressed, "There's something else, isn't there?"

That one question opened the flood gates. Sandy blurted out her story, including her love for Ruffy, having named him and nursing him back to health. She shared that she had tried to adopt the little dog but was unable to because of her circumstances. Her eyes started to well up.

That brought a question from Hank. "What circumstances made you unable to adopt him?" he asked.

Sandy began to cry and within a minute she was sobbing as she shared a quick story of her life.

As her chest heaved with sobs, she said, "All I ever wanted was to have someone that would love me unconditionally, someone that I could love back and go through life with. Ruffy was the only one that gave me that, but I can't have him. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be telling you this and I'm sorry to burden you. I hope you'll take him and give him a good life. He's such a tender baby and he deserves all the love you can give him."

Lindsey looked at Hank and they exchanged a quiet smile. Lindsey reached out her hand and put it on Sandy's arm.

"Honey, you don't know this, but we lost our daughter many years ago when she was a few years younger than you. She went to school one day, just like every day, but she never returned. She was hit in a crosswalk when a distracted driver drove through a red light as she crossed the street. She died instantly. We tried to fill the huge hole in our hearts with animals, and though they gave us love in return for our affection, there has always been that empty place that they just couldn't quite fill."

Hank added, "You remind us so much of Stacy. She loved animals and after she passed we adopted one animal after another, always in her memory.

"We want to put our name on the list for Ruffy, and we'd like to come back next week to talk with you," winking at Lindsey. "Would that be alright?"

Sandy nodded quietly. She was about to lose her puppy, her baby, but this was such a nice couple and she was moved by their story. She led them back to the shelter offices and helped them complete the application to adopt Ruffy. After the shelter manager collected their deposit, the couple got Sandy's schedule and gave her a note with their phone number.

"We'll be back next week on Tuesday to pick up Ruffy. We should be here about 3:30 and your time here ends at 4, right?' asked Lindsey.

"Okay, I'll give Ruffy lots of love until you come back and, yes, my shift ends at 4," answered Sandy softly.

With a nod, the couple left and Sandy walked silently back to Ruffy's cage where she held him and wistfully gave him the good news.

"Ruffy, you'll always be my little baby dog, but you're going to get a forever home with a family that will love you and play with you and give you everything you need to have a good life. You'll always be my baby. Just remember me, will you?" she said through tears that streamed down her face.

The days that followed passed slowly. Sandy dreaded the day when Ruffy would be taken to his new home and out of her life. She couldn't shake the sadness, even as Freddy tried to cheer her up. His presence and their lattes together simply couldn't soften her gloom and despair.

Finally, the fateful day came. After class on Tuesday, she walked to the shelter, put on her smock, and began cleaning cages, purposedly avoiding Ruffy's cage. When she was an aisle away from his cage, he spotted her and walked to the front of his cage, expectantly waiting for her to come and pick him up; maybe play with him with his favorite chew stick.

When she didn't come to his cage he was confused. What was wrong? Sandy always held him, and he always got to play with her when she was there.

At 3:30 the older couple walked through the doors of the shelter, walked to the manager's desk and said they were there to pick up the pup named Ruffy. Paperwork was signed and exchanged and at quarter to four they were escorted to Ruffy's cage carrying a furry dog "cave" shaped like a small igloo which they said they would use to transport the little pup to their home. Sandy watched the procession from a distance with the sinking feeling of finality.

"This is how it ends," she thought, "with one more ache in my heart." She forced herself not to go to them or say goodbye to Ruffy for the last time.

At four, she finished her shift, hung up her smock and walked out the front door. A white sedan was parked right in front and as the shelter door closed behind her both car doors opened and the older couple stepped out.

"Sandy, can we talk with you?" asked Lindsey. "We have an idea that we hope you might like."

Sandy nodded slowly and walked toward them, purposely avoiding looking inside the car where Ruffy was.

Hank started, "You remind us so much of Stacy and we went home flooded with emotions, with memories of her life and our dreams for her future. Your love for Ruffy pushed us over the edge.

"We want to do something that we've never ever thought of doing before. We want you to come live with us and love Ruffy with us. He will be your dog and you will have Stacy's old room, which we have spent the last several days cleaning up.

"If you agree, we will go together to a furniture store where you can pick out the furniture you would like for your room.

"Our house is big and it's felt so empty for so long with just Lindsey and I. We want to share it with you and Ruffy. We'll help you get your education and pursue your dreams. And, I'm convinced that over time you will see us as the home you wished for. Would you please consider that?"

Sandy was shocked. And then she dropped her arms and began to cry, at first quietly and then with big shuddering sobs. She just stood there crying as the older couple looked at each other quietly. And then she ran to them as they held their arms out to enfold her, the three of them crying together.

"I never thought I could have this dream. I'm afraid to say 'yes.' Please don't say this if you don't mean it. I'd rather walk away with the memory of what you just said then to go with you and be disappointed later. I just couldn't take that," Sandy said through tears.

Lindsey held her tightly and whispered to her, "Honey, we won't ever disappoint you. We made a promise to our little girl after she was in heaven that we would find her somewhere on this earth and bring her back home. After so many years, we realized that might not ever happen, until we met you and Ruffy. We went to find a little dog, and instead we found a daughter and a dog to fill our hearts. You don't really know us yet, but we will show you the love you should have always had, and you should know, we won't disappoint you."

After a moment, Sandy quietly got into the back seat of the car, pulled Ruffy out of his little dog cave, held him to her chest and said, "We're going home, Ruffy, we're finally going home!"

- - - - - - - - -

Twelve years later, a young couple walk into the veterinary offices of Dr. Sandra Schultz. The reception area is painted in bright colors with photos of animals on every wall. One large, framed portrait is prominently displayed at the center of the wall behind the reception desk.

As the couple walk to the reception desk holding their small kitten, they look at the beautiful portrait of an older couple seated with a small white dog in their laps. At the bottom is a small bronze plaque with this inscription, "In loving memory of my parents, Hank and Lindsey Taggert, and my dog, Ruffy."

As the couple explains that they are there for their appointment to have a wellness check on their new kitten, the wife asks the receptionist, "Who is that in the portrait?"

The receptionist answered, "Oh, that's a picture of our doctor's family. Dr. Schultz has it there to honor her family."